Thursday 14 April 2016

11.4 - Feedback & Draft 2

List of Changes

- Remove black and white choice
- Some vital information in script requires visual or vocal representation
- Remove accent specificities
- Primary school does not need to be as large as college
- Overly formal dialogue between headmaster and staff
- Unrealistic reason for Mason going to get coffee
- Last scene requires setup line

Draft 2




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